October 1^st, 2004

We Republicans are known for always being right, but others just don’t seem to get it. Fortunately for us, those unenlightened obstacles to the truth cannot stop the progress of the Bush Republican powerhouse.  So today we show our appreciation to those who do not give up in the face opposition.  Bad leaders, bad policies, they are all weak in the face of the power of the right. We now honor those fearless Republicans with the

We Are Right and You Are Wrong Awards

FOREIGN RELATIONS AWARD

WASHINGTON (Reuters) July 18, 2004-- South Korea has requested the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency to change the way it spells President Roh Moo-hyun's last name, but the CIA is sticking to its guns.  In an online directory and in its World Fact Book, the CIA spells it "No" rather than "Roh," the South Korean leader's preference. The South Korean Embassy has sent the CIA three formal requests, one last year and two this year, as part of efforts to get the entire U.S. government to change its spelling.  Jeongsun Suh, the officer in charge of press and culture, "Up to now, we didn't receive a response," he said.

What are those silly Koreans thinking, don’t they know that no one gets to spell their name they way they want, unless we say so.  If we did things their way, they would all be over-run with Godless communists right now.  We are right and you are wrong!

AMERICAN LABOR AWARD

"Mission statement" from the U.S. Department of Labor:  "The Department of Labor fosters and promotes the welfare of the job seekers, wage earners, and retirees of the United States by improving their working conditions, advancing their opportunities for profitable employment, protecting their retirement and health care benefits, helping employers find workers, strengthening free collective bargaining, and tracking changes in employment, prices, and other national economic measurements.
Associated Press  Jan. 5, 2004  WASHINGTON — The Labor Department is giving employers tips on how to avoid paying overtime to some of the 1.3 million low-income workers who would become eligible under new rules expected to be finalized early this year.  The department's advice comes even as it touts the $895 million in increased wages that it says those workers would be guaranteed from the reforms.  Among the options for employers: cut workers' hourly wages and add the overtime to equal the original salary, or raise salaries to the new $22,100 annual threshold, making them ineligible.  The department says it is merely listing well-known choices available to employers, even under current law.   "We're not saying anybody should do any of this," said Labor Department spokesman Ed Frank.

Now it is easy to tell that the Department of Labor’s so-called “mission statement” was written by a bunch of leftist labor unions.  Fortunately some new Republican appointees are making things right.  We are right and you are wrong!

ENVIRONMENTAL SERVICES AWARD

“Mission Statement” from the USDA Forest Service:  “The mission of the USDA Forest Service is to sustain the health, diversity, and productivity of the Nation’s forests and grasslands to meet the needs of present and future generations….Advocating a conservation ethic in promoting the health, productivity, diversity, and beauty of forests and associated lands….Advocating a conservation ethic in promoting the health, productivity, diversity, and beauty of forests and associated lands."
WASHINGTON (AP) -- December 4, 2003 Bush's "Healthy Forests Initiative”, authorizes $760 million a year for thinning projects on 20 million acres of federal land, a $340 million increase. At least half of all money spent on those projects must be near homes and communities. The bill also creates a major change in the way that federal courts consider legal challenges of tree-cutting projects.

Again it is easy to tell who wrote this “mission statement”; a bunch of extremist environmentalist wackos, that’s who penned this wrong message.  But a silly “mission statement” does not stop our Bush in the forest, those trees must go.  We are right and you are wrong!

ORIVILLE & WILBUR WRIGHT AWARD

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration plans to cut extreme waste in the Federal Aviation Administration's budget for buying new air traffic control equipment. The FAA says there are more planes are in the air than every before and state that this September 2nd was the busiest day ever for the U.S. air traffic control system. The FAA forecasts a 24 percent increase in the number of planes in the next few years. Tom Brantley, president of the Professional Airways Systems Specialists Union, said the systems that track the planes will soon reach their capacity and cutting the budget by almost 14 percent is insane.  But the administration has proposed cutting next year's FAA budget for equipment and facilities by 12.6 percent, about 300 million dollars.  Both the House and the Senate have gone along with that figure so far in the budget process.  Representative Mica R. Fla. said the FAA can update the national air traffic control system with fewer dollars if it takes a more businesslike approach to developing technology.  "They spend a great deal of time trying to change the technology…I think we can do more with less," he said.

You know when the unions start whining and complaining then you know the Republicans are doing a good job.  We are right and you are wrong!