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Geronimo! A Play in Two Parts |
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Scene: An old hunting lodge, high in the Esperanza Mountains of New Mexico. A new sign outside the lodge reads: "Escape to Esperanza Estates! Rub elbows with real Texas Senators. Hurry while supply lasts!" There are bullet holes all over the sign. Inside the lodge, we encounter "The Magnificent Eleven", eleven Texas Democratic Senators, seven men and four women, hiding out from the law. All are heavily armed, with bandoliers across their shoulders, and red bandanas around their necks. Senator Francisco (Pancho) Garcia (at the window): I hear another one of those pinche helicopters comin' in! Give me that riffle, Lety! Sentor Thad Jones: Well, don't shoot it yet, Pancho. It'll fall on the roof! Wait'll they get lower, over on the landin' strip. Senator Lety Van Horn: Are they comin' in again? I sure hope Tom Delay shows his face this time! Sentor Frank Studzmann: Oh don't worry, he'll send his little errand boy, Ricky Perry, a thousand times quicker than he'll come, himself. Sen. Jones: You don't think they're goin' to do somethin' to actually make little Ricky earn his keep, do ya'? Senator Maria Hernandez: Did you hear that there's a "Recall Governor Rick Perry" campaign goin' on? There was a big protest in front of the Capitol, in Austin, last weekend! Senator Hernando Rodriguez: Yeah, I heard that too. Too bad John Wayne's not alive to run for Texas Governor! Sen. Jones: How about Anna Nicole Smith? She's got the right stuff! Sen. Rodriguez: I was kinda hopin' she'd run against Kay Bailey Hutchinson, myself. Might bring a little intelligence to the Senator's Office, too. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam... Sen. Pancho: Hey, I think I got the prop.! Sen. Stutzmann: You damn sure did, Pancho! Good shootin'! Sen. Lety: They're not gettin' out of the chopper. Voice outside, over speaker: This is the Texas Rangers, speaking on behalf of Governor Richard Perry. You will cease firing, and exit the building with your hands... Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam... Sen. Jones: That shut the piss-ant jackasses up, didn't it? Sen. Maria: Here's more amo., Pancho. I just checked, again. We only got enough left for four or five months. But, that'll probably do it. Sen. Stutzmann: What I'm worried about is, if we run out of those sixty bar-be-qued sides of beef we threw in the walk-in. You know that pizza boy had a hard time makin' it up the mountain, last time. I hope those idiots aren't smart enough ta' block the road! Sen Rodriguez: Yeah, what happens after winter sets in? 'Snows here, ya know? How's "Lobster Boy" 'sposed ta get up here then? Speaker: This is the Texas Rangers speeakin' on behalf of Governor Rich... Bam, bam ,bam, bam... Sen. Pancho: Doesn't he think we heard him the first time? Sen. Maria: Rednecks always repeat everything. Sen. Pancho: Give me some of that whiskey that Willie Nelson gave us, Maria! I could sure use a drink. Sen. Maria: You shoot bad enough as it is! You don't need a drink, Pancho! Sen. Pancho: Oh don't worry! With one of these semi-automatic jobs, you just point it in the general direction and pull the trigger. You don't think those Army guys can actually hit anything, do you? Sen. Jones: They just use these kinda guns for killin' towel-heads, Mexicans, and coyotes. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam... The pizza delivery boy, in a bright red uniform, arrives at the back door. Knock, knock, knock Pizza boy: Pizza delivery! Sen. Maria open the back door. Sen. Maria: Lobster Boy, it's you! Pizza boy: Yea, sorry, it may have taken more than thirty minutes. It was too steep for the moped to make it up here, and I got attacked by the Texas Army Reserve on the way. Say, what are THEY doin' in New Mexico? Sen. Stutzmann: Well, you see, Carlos, we're fugatives. Carlos (the pizza boy): Fugatives! Did you knock off a bank, or embezzle a bunch of money, or somethin'? Sen. Stutzmann: No, Carlos, we'll leave that to the Bush Family, and their friends at Enron. I'm afraid that we're just plain ol' Texas State Senators. Looks like we're the last of the Democrats... You see, "President" George Bush, along with Republican Tom DeLay, who runs the U.S. House of Representatives, and the Republican Party in Texas, are trying to "redistrict" Texas, UNLAWFULLY. That is; they want to cut Texas up into a bunch of little, real funny-shaped voter areas that take away the TRUE MAJORITY vote from the overwhelmingly Democratic Mexican population in South Texas (in each tiny little piece). See, that will ALWAYS give a "majority" to the few nasty little Republicans in each "district". So, the scumbag G.O.P.can now run South Texas, too. Carlos: Somebody tried to do that same thing, so as she could get elected Class President in my High School! She didn't get away with it, though. Sen. Jones: Hey, let's eat! I'm starved! (grabs pizzas) Bam, bam, bam, bam... Sen Stutzmann: Carlos, it's the oldest dirty trick in the book. Well, anyway, we Senators split from Austin, to hide out here. If we're NOT back there, inside Texas, they can't MAKE us vote, and, therefore, automatically lose. Carlos: Why didn't you just call in sick, or somethin'? Sen. Maria: 'Cause if we'd just have stayed in our houses, in Austin, the'd have come by, and arrested us, one by one, and, then FORCED us to vote. We would have, of course, lost the vote, right away. And, they would have gotten away clean with a TOTAL POWER GRAB. And, Mexican Americans in Texas would have, virtually, immediately, lost all right to vote. Carlos: They would have FORCED you to VOTE! Man, that REALLY sucks! But, hey, you guys FOUGHT BACK, just like the guys at the Alamo! Sen. Pancho: Yeah, but this time, it's the pinche MEXICANS that are inside the Alamo! Bam, bam, bam, bam... Sen. Lety: Hey, let's watch the comparisons with the Alamo, O.K.? Carlos: Hey, wasn't Kennedy a Democrat? I remember that from American History! Sen. Lety: !Dios mio! These schools out here MUST be better than the ones in Texas! At least you know THAT! Yes, he was a DEMOCRAT, and he was a GOOD MAN! And, so was his Brother, and Dr. King, and Roosevelt, and Truman, too! So was Lyndon Johnson! They were ALL GOOD MEN! They tried HARD to get this Country out of the hands of the fathers of these very crooks we're fightin' now! It wasn't until Lyndon Johnson stuck his neck out, that Mexicans COULD even VOTE in Texas! Sen. Roriguez: Hell, my Parents weren't even allowed to speak Spanish in public! Carlos: Were we treated as bad as the Black people? Sen. Rodriguez: Damn nearly. We were nothin' more than field hands, and if our vote isn't counted, like the Republicans want, that's all we'll be AGAIN! Sen. Pancho: Look, it's easy to remember. The Democratic Party stands for DEMOCRACY. Without us, there would be NO democracy in this Country, and probably not on this planet. The G.O.P. stands for "Greedy Old Pendejos". Sen. Lety: Senator! Carlos: Hey, I heard that the CIA killed Kenne... Rat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat.... Sen. Pancho: They're comin' for us! Jones, Stutzmann, Rodriquez, Lety, get over here! Rat, tat, tat, tat... Sen. Pancho: They-y-y got me! Sen. Lety: Pancho! Will our TRUE Texas Heros escape? Will Sen. Pancho live? Will Bonnie marry Clyde? Does Humphry Bogart escape? What about Sam Shepard? Will Truth, Justice, and the TRUE TEXAS Way prevail? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of "Geronimo!" |
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