Sheik Ur Booty's Online Terrorist Casino of the Future
Courtesy of the Pentagon

by Bill Bohannon, 7-30-03 All of Bohannon's columns

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Why wait on Wall Street to "Recover"?

Can YOU really get excited about Pork Bellies and Soy Beans? Don't throw your hard-earned savings into Real Estate! That's even SLOWER!!!

Put YOUR Money Down at Sheik urBootie's Magic Flying Online TERRORIST CASINO of the FUTURE!!!!! You'll feel like a Prince!!!

Play binLaden Backgammon, Poindexter Poker, Hussein's Hide and Seek "Russian" Roulette, Kadafi Keno, or Khomeni "Kingpin" Kraps!!!! The more you play, the more you WIN!!!!!!

Here's how: Think you know the next city in America, Canada, or Europe to be BLOWN AWAY? Ladies and Gentlemen, PLACE YOUR BETS!!!! You'll be able to INSTANTLY check your odds of WINNING against ALL Other Players, WORLDWIDE!!!!!!

Think the Grand Canyon is soon to be just Another Big Hole in Arizona? Think Atlanta will soon be "Hotlanta", PERMANENTLY? Think that Little Dorthy isn't going to have a Kansas to go home to any more? PLACE YOUR BETS!!!!!

Never did like those little Snobs in Paris? NO PROBLEM!!!! Bet against those Weenies!!! Think we shoulda Nuked the Ruskies back when we had a chance? Make it WORTHWHILE for Somebody Else to do it NOW!!!!!!!

It's SIMPLE! It's EASY!!! It HAS to be, 'cause the whole thing was developed by the Pentagon (on YOUR Money)!!! Take Advantage of it!!!!!

This is the almost EXACT system that DARFA (a little known, integral part of the Pentagon), was in the process of setting up on the Internet, under the expert direction of Famed Admiral John Poindexter; when the (out-of-touch) Democratic Party (in Congress), stopped them (on Tuesday). We were able to acquire the software for the program at GREAT EXPENSE (in Istanbul), LAST NIGHT. So, NOW, YOU can be Among the Very FIRST Online PLAYERS in this FABULOUS System!!!!!!

Be Stirred, NOT Shaken!!! Get IN on the BLUE CHIP MONEY, NOW!!! Don't let the NEW "New World Order" of 'Round-the-Clock,U.S. Military-Developed, WORLD CLASS TERRORIST GAMING pass YOU by!!!!!

If you can't beat 'em, JOIN 'em! If you STILL can't beat 'em, NUKE 'em!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, PLACE YOUR BETS!!!!!