by Bill Bohannon, 11-22-03

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Hymn of Thanksgiving

We're gathered together to ask our "Lord's" blessing,
For all of our killing, both now and before,
For all of the riches that we are always wasting,
Both right here at home, and on far distant shores.

We started this process way back with the Pilgrims,
Their crops were all frozen and they were forlorn,
But they were all saved by the good grace of the Indians,
Who brought them the turkey and yams we adore!

So they ate the turkey and gathered their strength back,
Then killed all the Indians and took all their land,
So now on Thanksgiving, we eat like hogs in Heaven,
And wish we had spared just a few nice red men.

Then we killed the Mexicans to get California,
Invaded their country and took half their land,
They say that the Mex'cans are some strange kind of Christians,
But they don't speak English, so who gives a damn?

Then we found some country down there by Australia,
Some bad guys named "Commies" were in Vietnam,
We shot everybody: men, women, and the children,
Still, they kicked our butts, and they took back their land!

Well, the Brits had found oil in the sands of the Mid-East,
And we had to have it to run our Humvees,
So we armed Israelis with nu-cle-ar weapons,
Invaded Iraq, and paid off the Saudis.

Now our army is stuck in the sands of the Mid-East,
Our soulders eat shit while we eat the turkey,
But, fools that they are, they signed right up to defend us,
From all of the nations we've raped in our greed.

So, thanks to our "God" for the feast that he "gives" us,
And thanks to the poor fools who "gave" us their land,
'Cause from the beginning, the real fight we were winning,
With "God" on our side, why should we give a damn?

- Amen!

Now, This Year's SPECIAL Thanksgiving Treat that your WHOLE Family will LOVE YOU for:

Palestinian-stuffed IRAQI BOY!

Yum, Yum!

Remember that GREAT recipe we gave you last year? Remember Panamanian-stuffed AFGANI GIRL? How could you forget it, right? Well, this year's succulent treat is yet another rendition of that SAME WONDERFUL Recipe!

Believe it or not, it's from the same famous traditional Early-American Recipe, (Last of the) Mohican-stuffed Cherokee! And, with the HUGE SUPPLY (equals low price per lb.) of dead Iraqi children accidentally killed by Liberation Troops, this meal will not only be scrumptious, but it will also fit perfectly in your new, slightly-tightened household budget.

Even your Mother-in-law will beg for seconds!

Just e-mail us, and we'll send you this delicious recipe FREE, plus instructions on where you can buy your plump little Iraqi Boy. Your family will LOVE you, and you'll be giving them a nutritious, organically-grown meal! *

* Buyer should be certain that Processed Young Iraqi has a METAL ring through RIGHT toe, with USDA tag attached. DO NOT serve any Processed Young Iraq that was purchased on the Internet or through any source other than a Government Certified meat dealer. It is STONGLY recomended that EVERYONE that eats this dish be vaccinated for hepatitis A, B, C, and G BEFORE consuming Processed Young Iraqi . Cook at LEAST 12 hours (or till WHITE). If Processed Young Iraqi was killed by any American or Iraqi NON-explosive or NON-missile-fired Weapon Of Mass Distruction, such as: Anthrax or Agent Orange, or ANY Biological air, water, or blood-born spore of hepatitis, tuberculosis, SARS etc., return Processed Young Iraqi to butcher shop IMMEDIATELY.

(c) 2003 Bill Bohannon all rights reserved