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Happy Birthday and Various Ramblings

Happy Birthday and Various Ramblings

by Luke Angelo , 01.23.2004

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MARTIN,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
1/21/04

THE GREAT DAY HAS COME.

And gone.

Gone, but not forgotten, remaining deep in our collective, national memory.

Truly the 2004 edition of the celebration of the Birthday of the late, great Martin Luther King brought unparalleled joy to every corner of this great land. In large urban centers, small towns, and rural precincts people took the time to pause and to remember. Remember the one man who can truly be said to have been the greatest American who ever lived. A man who willingly sacrificed his life for the greater good of an entire nation.

And it all takes place just shy by one month from the dreary winter solstice, the darkest time of the solar year.

It started months ago, the open mouthed anticipation. Especially among the young, the children who look forward to this special holiday all year long. There is the kid-nervous waiting for the day itself. It is hard for a kid to fall asleep the night before. Finally Dr. King’s day arrives, a time when our little nuclear families gather in the living room after a hearty, cholesterol-laden breakfast, for the exchange of presents, all age-appropriate, of course, and just as costly as mom and dad can make them. Hard-working Americans everywhere are doing their level best to keep the economy humming along as if we didn’t have the Damoclean sword of angry Muslim fundamentalism hanging over our heads. Advertising all across the broad spectrum of the media, especially newspaper flyers and those cute little TV spots showing happy families at play with the latest toys, video games, and SUV’s, has helped Americans on every socio-economic level to greet the great day with eagerness unequaled.

After the children have had a chance to play with their new toys, it is time for the traditional family meal. Perhaps you and your family will travel over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s high rise condo near the casino in Sarasota. Or maybe you will dine in, inviting friends and family to the bounty of your very own groaning board. Uncle Raymond will be there and Uncle Raymond’s special friend Uncle Josh and with the rest of you will enjoy mamma’s take-out ribs or fried chicken with sides of collard greens and sushi. But save some room for a big slice of that freshly thawed Mrs. Paul’s sweet ‘tater’ pie. Man that’s some good eatin’. Most agree it’s a darned sight better than Quanzaa.

An afternoon walk around the neighborhood will show the many, bright colored decorations put up in honor of the day. Every front porch where there are children is decorated with watermelons hollowed out and carved to represent great Americans of the past. Across the street we can see Crispus Attucks, Harriet Tubman, George Washington Carver, Marion Barry, and, of course, the great man himself grinning at us, striped, green faces back-lit by candles from inside.

Do you know how expensive watermelons are in January? That’s dedication. That’s sacrifice. That’s devotion above and beyond.

And why do we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday? Well, he was a man of god, a preacher, sacrificed on the altar of evil reactionarianism much like another man crucified almost two thousand years ago on a hilltop near old Jerusalem. It is no longer politically correct to celebrate the birthday of that other person, a man of Jewish blood, murdered for his opposition to the status quo, so aggressive have been the German Nazi Party, the ACLU, the Islam Is A Religion Of Peace Council, and the well-meaning educators’ Unions which long ago traded actual teaching for child warehousing and became dedicated to the noble proposition that no person in their charge should ever be offended or made to feel uncomfortable.

Well, almost no person, for our society still has one special, malignant scapegoat to dump its sociological garbage upon, the ultra evil white American male of any age, he who is responsible for all that is wrong in the world from global warming to the break-up of the traditional family, from the plague of AIDS to the fact that fully 73% of all African American babies are born to single mothers, from mass graves along the Tigris to ever rising gas prices, from STD’s to dandruff. Damn him anyway!!

Besides, that old guy strung up on a cross almost two thousand years ago was just another white guy, like the writers of our constitution. These over the hill dudes had a few ideas, sure, but mostly don’t speak to us in 2004.

Moreover, we have the whole thing about separation of church and state, where you can’t have a religious display at a city hall, or park, or school, or any public place. So the b’day of that old Jewish white guy with some pretty good ideas, probably, can’t be celebrated much anymore. And that is one of the reasons we have this tribute to King, Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King, Jr even if he was a preacher.

Doctor King preached about racial equality and love. The people who follow the old dead Jewish guy that got hung on the cross talk about love but they kill and murder and start wars and execute people just because they kill and murder. Millions and millions of people have been butchered simply because they didn’t worship the cross-suspended dude or else worshipped him in ways that were different from the guys with the most guns. Or spears. Or swords. Been going on for almost two millennia, which is, roughly, the same as two thousand years.

It seems unlikely that people will start praying to Doctor King. If they do, they will probably begin killing one another. It’s enough to have a holiday to him as the greatest American who ever lived. But, if he comes back from the dead, and people start seeing him in Safe Way checkout lines and at Wal Marts, watch out. It could become bigger than seeing Elvis walking around town and being photographed in public places.

Besides, injecting religion and faith into a national holiday is never a good idea.

B’Day is not the same as ‘bidet’ which is a French bathroom device used for, among other things, cooling wine.

THERE ISN’T MUCH FOR US TO SAY ABOUT THE IOWA CAUCUS EXCEPT:

1. We noticed that outsider Howard the Dean started losing ground just as soon as he was endorsed by insiders such as ex V-P. Gore, ex Basketballer Bradley, and Senator Harken. Connection?

2. Jay Leno pointed out that Doctor Dean tried to soften his image by wearing sweaters in the chill of the Iowa winter. “He looked like Mr. Rogers with rabies”.

3. Please notice that the good Doctor did not mention Georgia in his ‘we will not give up’ concession speech. If he comes down here we have more than enough tar and feathers for both him and the young Terry ‘We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Southern Strategy’ MacAuliffe.

4. We don’t know how much impact celebrity endorsements had on the voting. Mikie Moore supported Dean. In fact, my Pop got a generic letter just yesterday from the filmmaker urging continued support for the Gov. Maybe he will let me post it over at Political Puzzle Dot Org…matter of fact, I will.

5. Madonna, the aging ‘Material Matron’ and talentless Jennifer Lopez of the amazing gluteus maximus both endorsed general Clark. Don’t think anybody noticed. Clark I mean. Everybody noticed Jennifer’s butt. WOW!

NEW HAMPSHIRE PRIMARY COMING UP IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS: By then the leader board will again shift and new frontrunners will emerge. It’s getting to be pretty ho-hum. Boston Globe has Kerry in the lead this morning, but consider the source.

SOME GREAT STICKERS from IAN KLEINFELD along with some reading material from the French Heartland. My two favorites (stickers…not tourist maps) read: “I’m Voting For FUICK YOU In 2004” and “BUSH & CHENEY KISS MY ASHCROFT”. The literature is in French, which I read a little slowly, but do read. Interesting because Dad’s siblings are wondering where they will meet next summer and France is tops on my Aunt Sandra’s list. Maybe, just maybe I will end up in the Land of the Eternal Frog for a couple of weeks.

You’re right, Roger, I quoted Ian’s stickers just to soften any negative impression of the MLK piece he might have.

Please remember you can visit THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO LUKE by clicking on our TABLE OF CONTENTS at http://members.aol.com/luciusson/contents.html There are now well over three hundred episodes in a body that runs the gamut from political satire, to fiction, to sheer insanity. You can also reach as at an outrageously liberal website http://politicalpuzzle.org where I get even less respect than I do from Ian.

Ciao,

Luke Angelo

Macon, Georgia
(come visit for a slice of nineteenth century America)

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Luke Angelo, Cyberbrat Out Of Hell, lives in Macon, GA, where he regularly causes trouble and proves that the pen is far mightier than the Mayor