Freedomfest May 4, 2005
Frank Ray Davis' Humor Column
Frank Ray Davis' freedomfest is found regularly on DemocracyMeansYou.com.
PROGRESS, OUR MOST EXPENSIVE PRODUCT:During the Great DepressionAmerican taxpayers footed the bill for killing off baby pigs and plowing under crops, so they could have the privilege of paying higher prices at the grocerystore.But we've moved up since those primitive days:In this depression we bankroll a super-expensive war so that we may pay higher prices at thegas pumps.
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LIVE WELL, SELL DEATH:This'llblow your mind:World's most profitable business, guns and other murder hardware; second, drugtraficking. Wonder who gets the bigger bang for the buck, the dopes or the dupes...
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JOCKSTRAPS AIN'T THE ONLYSUPPORTERS:"We support our troops"--bumper strip.We sure do, big and often--every time we cough up anothertax dollar!But there's a simple way to stop this tax-dollar leakage: BRINGOUR TROOPS HOME!
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AWMDLOCATED:They never managed to find a weapon of mass destruction in Iraq, but there's an obvious one right here at home.Name is George Dubya.Ask any economist, ask anyworker, ask any pensioner, ask any educator, ask anybody!
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WHAT 8-BALL ARE WE BEHIND?Dubya has no faith in ecologists and suchlikescientists warning about the serious effects of smog, poisonous emissions, destruction of the ozone layer, and other environment phenomena.Whyshould he?He can get on the line with God whevever he wants, so what'sthe fuss?Butwhoa, wait a minute.No being, super-duper or otherwise, can beexpected to know what he does not know.There have been jillions of scientific advances since Creation Day.What if God has not done his homework?What if, comfortably ensconced up there on Cloud 9 seduced by the soulful ditties of a skyful of harp-strumming angels, God is not tuned in to the latest scientific advances.In short, what if God is as ignorant as Dubya?
SAVE US FROM SAVIORS
For God so loathed the worldthat he sent this phoney misbegotten son
to misrule over it and us.
George his name, or better Saint George,
because he slew Hussein the dragon
for hiding mass destruction arms
in the elbow of his kitchen sink.
You think all this is modern news?
Several hundred years ago
sage Nostradamus predicted that
at the dawn of next millenium
the village idiot would rule the world.God, says George with casual smirks,
sent him to earth to save the works.
Nowall we need isGod's big brother
to save the world and us from George.
HEADLINE IN A MEXICAN NEWSPAPER translates to "Banks Warn :We Are Not Responsible".So bankers are the same the world over ?So what else is old?
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NOTABLE QUOTABLE:"If Jesus returned to Earth, Ratzinger (now the Pope)would undoubtedly crucify him again.The great challenge to Catholics is to be converted to Christianity.--Catholic Writer Ignacio Solares
"Responsible stewardship of the environment is even more important than putting terrorists out of business:Terrorists can cause the death of a few million of our specie; steadily degrading the planet's capacity to sustainlife can ultimately kill us all."--Ecology Activist David Perlman
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