AUNT TILDIE AND THE IMMIGRATION PROBLEM

I could tell when I walked in her front door that AuntTildie was pumped! Her cottony hair was mussed as it is when she has been "a-thinkin' and a-scratchin' her noggin", and I knew I was in for an interesting visit. She does get so excited when she reads the news! "What's the matter, Aunt Tildie!", I asked timorously.

"I've been a-readin' about the country bein' full of Mexicans that jump the border, come in and do American work for peanuts and then send the money home while their families are collectin' welfare an' food stamps an' stiffin' the hospitals for medical bills when they have their children. Then the children are American citizens and nobody can't send them all back home! It's a damned cryin' shame with so many Americans losin' their jobs and can't find another one."

"Well, Aunt Tildie, you know that Congress is working on the problem."

"Workin' on it, hell! They're talkin' about lettin' them has managed to hide from the law for five years have cards so as they can stay here permanent. They done that before and it didn't change a damned thing. They also passed a law that anybody who employed them would get a big fine, but nobody enforces it! They just keep a-comin' and nobody is tryin' very hard to stop 'em. And who profits? The damned corporations that are payin' them Mexicans money that an American family can't live on and pushin' down wages and the standard of livin' for workin' families right here in these United States! That's who!"

"They say that there are too many of them and too long a border. Also there isn't enough money to pay for searching them out and sending them back. They can't seem to come up with a plan that can solve the problem."

"They want a plan? I'll give 'em a damned plan! They can make 'em want to go home!"

"Oh, dear, please don't get excited about it. Once these people get here, there is nothing on God's green earth that would entice them to leave voluntarily", I offered.

"They'll leave vooluntarily when they have a good reason to. All we have to do is to give them good reason."

"And this good reason will be.....?"

"You listen and listen good, child!" (I love it when she calls me "child".) "All we gotta do is to pass some laws. Law one is that we are a-gonna pass out permit cards IN MEXICO to qualified people who want to work in this country. They gotta go home to get 'em, and if they've been caught in the US illegally, they ain't eligible. They got here without bein' caught and they have to get home without gettin' caught. Got that?

"Then we pass law two, that INS and customs and local law enforcement are a-gonna inspect every farm, ranch, factory, and any other business in the country and levy fines, big ones, for ever' one of them that has illegals workin' there. Give 'em, say, sixty days warnin' to get 'em cleared out and then go get 'em. Then, if they really need to import workers, let 'em apply to the gummint for how many they really need, understandin' that ever' one of them they hire after that has gotta be paid the same wages as an American worker would get.."

"But, Aunt Tildie, that would take a major involvement of all the law enforcements agencies in the country and would cost a lot of money!"

"Sure, it would cost something, but that's why all those agencies are getting the Homeland Security dollars. It's so that they will be ready in case of a national emergency and this is a national emergency if you ever seen one!"

"I can follow that, but I have a feeling that you are not finished with your plan."

"Nope, but pretty near. Then law number three will be that numbers will be drawn from them that signed up in Mexico. Them people and nobody else will be brought in to work for the businesses that asked for them. Give ever' one of them a card that says they have business here. Make it a good card, one that can't be faked, maybe with marks like they put in paper money. Then keep all them law enforcement guys at work to sweep the country and ever'one they catch without a card gets sent home....express!"

"How are they going to be sure the people that are allowed to come in can do the jobs they are needed for? What if they get fired? There is a lot involved here. We would have to literally set up employment offices in Mexico", I protested timidly.

"Well then, dammit, if they need to do it, then just do it! It won't cost no more than to set up the sites in the United States where they hang around until someone comes to pick 'em up and haul 'em out to jobs in the back of a truck! And it won't cost no more than payin' 'em welfare and food stamps when they can't feed their families. If we qualify the workers for the jobs they are needed to do, they won't be roamin' around the country lookin' for work, and when the companies apply for foreign workers, they should have to guarantee to return 'em home if they don't work out! Don't let 'em have another worker if they don't send the first one home!"

"Well, if it's that easy, then why isn't it being done?" I asked.

"You know as well as I do that no problem can be solved until you decide that it has to be done and the stuff that gits put off is the stuff you didn't want to do in the first place. That's the problem now. They talk about the problem and find reasons why it can't be done, but that's just because they don't really want to change a thing. Boosh and the big corporations are a-makin' money hand over fist on the backs of these poor, stupid people that are willin' to work for nothin' and to hell with the 'Merican folks that can't get a payin' job. It could be done if they wanted to do it!"

"But, Aunt Tildie, what about their children who are born here and are citizens of the United States and have a right to stay?"

"Yep, I thought of that, too. The kids is citizens and they get to stay, but their folks don't, so the folks have a decision to make. They can sign over their kids to stay here and grow up in foster homes or they can take 'em back home till they turn eighteen and then the kids can come back and claim their rights as Americans. They did that in the fifties when they freed the Philippines and it worked. Ever'one had to choose to be Philippine or American if they had American blood. The kids could wait till they was growed up to choose, but it had to be one or the other. There was a time when dual citizenship was not allowed in this country but now, for some reason, there is a lot of it goin' on and that should stop, too."

With my mind reeling from the good common sense that could so easily solve this problem, I certainly didn't want to have to deal with the Jewish-American dual-loyalty question, so I excused myself to go home and attend to the remaining housework. Visiting Aunt Tildie always leaves me with more questions than answers.

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