Beltway Sniper Set Free
Holy shit?
In a stunning development, U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced today that all charges against John Allen Muhammad had been dropped.
Flanked by NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre, Ashcroft stated his review of the evidence "would not and could not" substantiate the charges against the so called Beltway Sniper.
"Clearly, this is a case of an average American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment rights', said Ashcroft. "This is a case driven by the anti-gun liberal media. They simply have no shame". Ashcroft accused the media of hysteria and using inflammatory rhetoric in pursuit of their hidden anti-gun agenda. "To call a hunter a sniper is not only ludicrous, it borders on slander. This man fought in the Gulf War. This is how we treat our veterans? If it were up to me, I'd turn the whole military loose on CBS, ABC and NBC for the damage they have caused this man."
When asked how he would explain his decision to the families of the dead and wounded, Ashcroft replied, "These were unfortunate hunting accidents. Nothing more, nothing less. Muhammad indicated he was shooting at squirrels, and each time a human jumped into his sights as he pulled the trigger. Why is this so hard to understand? I would simply advise everyone that if they should encounter a squirrel, to run like hell in the opposite direction".
Ashcroft went on to say that Muhammad had been released after authorities returned his Bushmaster XM-15 to him. "This was a legal gun purchase", Ashcroft said. "We even gave him a dozen boxes of ammunition for his troubles".
For his part, NRA exec LaPierre indicated Muhammad had been given a free lifetime membership to the NRA for "...the suffering he has received as a result of this unwarranted persecution at the hands of the anti-gun lobby".
Aware of the potential criticism of his decision, Ashcroft indicated that the Justice Department intended "...to pursue vigorously, with the full force of the law and resources of our government, the charge of driving a vehicle without proper insurance". Muhammad did not have proof of car insurance when arrested in a Maryland rest stop.
As for John Lee Malvo, the Jamaican immigrant arrested along with Muhammad, Ashcroft indicated Malvo had already been executed by firing squad. "The man was an illegal immigrant, clearly violating our laws. Are we supposed to feed and board him? I think not. Let this be a clear and unequivocal message to anyone attempting to enter our country illegally: you will either die or become my gardener".
