How Many Neocons Does It Take to Screw In A Light Bulb

by Guest Columnist , 09.05.2004 DMY Homepage E-mail this article Discuss in Forums Printer-Friendly Version Buy Fantastic Progressive Stickers, Buttons, Tees, and more! Get our semi-weekly newsletter to find out about our newest articles and get exclusive store discounts! Enter your e-mail here: MORE ARTICLES YOU'LL ENJOY: SO YOU WANT TO BE A CITIZEN? A TIME FOR EUTHANASIA Nature of the Beast SUPPORT THE TROOPS Demonic Despots and Dastardly Denial THE LIVING AND THE DEAD Musings From Tom Joad Country SHADOWS ON THE WALL TRUST IS A MUTUAL AFFAIR Bush Launches Operation Retail Freedom Bye-Bye Miss American (First Amendment) Pie Mad Dog On A Leash A MAJORITY IN SEARCH OF LEADERSHIP NO MERCY The Disgaceful Plight of American Poor A Few Children Stayed Behind Fetus Terrorist or Property of State? FOOL'S GOAL FAULTY INTELLIGENCE STARIGHT TALK FROM COWBOY COUNTRY

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Q: How many Bush administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Ten.

1) one to deny that any light bulb needs to be replaced

2) one to personally attack and question the patriotism of anyone who dares to ask questions about light bulbs

3) one to unscrew all the light bulbs at Dover AFB so it is too dark for cameras in the middle of the night when the KIAs are sneaked back into the country from Iraq

4) one to blame the previous administration for the need for a new light bulb

5) one to plan the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs

6) one to get together with VP Cheney and figure out how to pay Haliburton a million dollars for a light bulb

7) one to arrange a photo op of W costumed in a flight suit and wrapped in the US flag changing a light bulb under a sign saying BULB CHANGE ACCOMPLISHED

8) one to write a provision into the Patriot Act that makes it treason to discuss light bulbs with your friends

9) one to explain to W in small words the difference between screwing in a light bulb and screwing the country

10) one to install bulbs to light up previously closed draft board offices